Me, Myself, and I

for the random moments of sweetness and nostalgia :)

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Humble

Learned this proverb in class today, meaningful and rice related. I like :)

実るほどを垂れる稲穂かな。

Minoru hodo koube o tareru inaho kana 

“Young rice stalks stand upright, the mature stalks, filled with grain, bow low” – Japanese saying

Filed under japanese proverb rice

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Having An Ex Who Hates You(repost from thought catalog)

When entering a relationship, you should always be prepared for the possibility that the person you’re in love with might hate your guts one day. Intellectually, we know this. We know that love is just one awful mistake away from hate but we never really understand it until the whole thing goes kaboom in our face. Then we get it. Then we have no choice but to read the fine print on the relationship contract.

I never thought you would hate me, though. I never thought there’d come a time when you would wipe any evidence of our relationship clean from your life. And you know why? Because I never got you to really love me. That was the whole issue of the relationship. I was madly in love with you and….you were doing whatever the fuck people do when they’re dating someone they’re not obsessed with. As sad as it was, I thought that meant we could at least be on good terms after the break up. I mean, how could you ever hate something you never loved?

But I was wrong. I underestimated the power of breakups and the ripple effect they can create. Everything can be fine until one day it infects your bones and then you decide you don’t want anything to do with the person anymore. Poof! You’re gone. Unfriended from Facebook, unfollowed on Twitter. (That might sound petty but it’s 2013, okay? We can admit that this kind of shit hurts our feelings, right?)

I don’t like how bothered I am by your rejection. I feel like now, even so long after our break up, I’m still constantly wanting your approval. And to know that you don’t want to know ANYTHING that’s happening in my life, to know that I don’t have the right to even call you on the phone anymore, is devastating.

On the other hand, part of me is almost flattered that I’ve made such an impact on your life. This whole time I thought you were just some emotionless zombie who didn’t really care about me but I now know that’s not true. You don’t delete someone from your life if you don’t care about them. It makes me wonder if, in fact, you did love me in your own weird, screwed up way. Your cruelty and avoidance after the break up is ironically the only proof I have that I might’ve mattered to you.

So I guess keep on hating me because it’s the only thing I got from you, the only thing you ever gave me

great summary of my life atm 

Filed under breakup ex hate relationship anger

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at Pewabic Pottery of Detroit 

Filed under pottery nationalhistoriclandmark

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Winter

Winter is coming. There is a chill hanging in the air the wind is circling all around you and the fragile snowflakes are just waiting to fall..
                                                                                           and fall
                                                                                                and fall..

eventually covering everything in a blanket of
beautiful             innocent                 white. 


As i sit and look out my window, the same window that I looked through amidst the blazing sun and fury heat of late August I for once in my life am excited for Winter.
I want the chill to pierce through my heart and wake me up from my beautiful midsummer’s dream;
I want the wind to push me further than I can hope or believed I can go; and I want the fragile snowflakes to give me their sparkle and beauty as they dance around me fighting not to
                                            fall

and
                        stickingamongtheothers. 

In the serene gentleness of Winter I hope to find clarity, 
and in times of blizzards I hope for patience.
Spring, the season of revival is waiting for me. 

image

~ And so there was the prince of winter
who chanced upon a summer maiden

Filed under winter heart movingon